God’s Gift for His Glory

God’s Gift for His Glory

“But by the grace of God I am what I am, and his grace
to me was not without effect.”
1 Corinthians 15:10

          Critical comments swarmed in my mind long after they took place, never giving me a moment’s peace. 

          Does intelligent thought ever enter your skull? Who do you think you are? You’re just a joke with a bad punchline? Work harder, stupid! Never let ‘em see you sweat! Don’t be such a wuss! You’re too fast! Slow down! Watch out! Now everyone’s passing you. Hurry up!

          When the internal dialogue from the past drowned out external conversations in the present, my “problem” was labeled. 

          Daydreaming again? Better get with the program. The world will pass you by. Such a space cadet! Earth to Planet Pluto! Come in, please! The truth is simple: you’re lazy. You lack motivation. You have trouble focusing. Must be ADD.

          With the never-ceasing din in my head, I had difficulty sleeping, but when nothing helped, I decided to act as if everything was copacetic. After all, no one could actually see the war going on in my head. Could they? 

          They couldn’t, but God could. 

          Through His Word, He said, “Be still and know Who I AM.”

          “Fat chance of that ever happening,” I thought. I’d never get past the “be still” part.

          “Empty out all that is not me,” He said. “All condemnation. Then fill your mind with Who I Am.” 

          Eternal truth, love, light, peace, joy, goodness, perseverance, patience, hope, humility, mercy, grace, forgiveness, wisdom, understanding, sovereignty, omnipotence, omniscience, adventure, playfulness, immutability, justice, infinitude, sufficiency, creator, sustainer, savior and friend…

“Empty out all that is not you,” He said. “All the lies that seek to steal your peace, kill your confidence and destroy your life. Then fill your heart with who I say you are.” 

          Beloved, child of God, forgiven, perfectly and wonderfully made, conceived before time, heir to all goodness, bestowed with every gift in the heavenly realms, joyful, uniquely talented, totally accepted, worthy, purposed, chosen, strong, capable, altogether lovely, cherished, totally free…

I tried to obey. Fifteen minutes at a time. It was difficult. A messy effort at best. Day after day, year after year. My miracle came, not in a dramatic flash like lightning, but in a gradual glorious revelation like the dawn, but it came nonetheless.

          Today, no longer pummeled by the past, I am present to the present, and these days I enjoy being me, for I know that I am God’s gift for His glory. The gentle voice I hear in my head now speaks of a rich and abundant life designed in love especially for me. Thanks be to God!  A Grateful Believer